Written by: Kaylin Czajkowski
Living in the same world as Blake Lively, Jessica Alba, and Adriana Lima can make it difficult to love yourself, at least in the moment. I mean c’mon, they have all had kids and are still glowing, still skinny, still beautiful, and as successful as ever. Am I missing something?? HOW CAN I BECOME THEM?? Like many other women, I have struggled with loving myself due to (what I think are many) imperfections. My hair doesn’t shine, my teeth aren’t bleach white, and every selfie I take looks like this:
But what I have been so grateful to learn and share with my #Sociables is that: IT IS OKAY. All of your imperfections are O-freaking-K. No matter how hard you try, you cannot learn to love yourself if you are not happy with yourself. So, how do you become completely and utterly happy with yourself? Here’s how:
1. STOP WITH COMPARISONS
- You are YOU - don’t change for other people, or to be like others. You will constantly beat yourself up if you do so. Instead, focus on your assets and stop striving for perfection. The little things you hate, someone else will love about you. Because after all, it’s the little things that make you, well, you. To change to be like somebody else takes away from your individuality. Better yourself rather than bettering your appearance. When it's all said and done -- looks go unnoticed in comparison to your substance as a being.
2. ALONE TIME
- Being alone isn’t a bad thing, in fact it's healthy. It allows you to figure out yourself, and what you want in regards to personal goals. It is a time for reflection without social influences (which leads to comparisons and totally backpedals any progress made).
3. BE A FREE SPIRIT
- Take a lot of pictures, sing loudly to your favorite song, dance like nobody's watching, let loose -- JUST BE YOU. If you’re too preoccupied with what people are thinking and saying about you, then you’re doing yourself a disfavor. If YOU are happy and having a good time -- then what else matters?
4. LIVE IN THE MOMENT
- The past? Yeah, that’s over. You can’t change it, so LEARN from it and move on. The future? It hasn’t happened yet. Things are always changing and much like a NY sample sale, you can’t predict it. So LIVE IN THE MOMENT -- because if not, you’re going to miss out on some great moments and priceless experiences.
5. LET GO
- Holding grudges doesn’t affect the person you’re holding them against -- rather, the grudges you are holding are more detrimental to your sanity and happiness. Stop carrying around poison and hate -- forgive and move on.
- Exercising is great for your body, mind and soul. Not only does exercise assist in releasing stress, but it ALSO releases endorphins. #NeverForget Elle Woods’ advice circa 2001: “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands. They just don't."
7. TREAT YOURSELF TO DESIRES ONCE IN A WHILE
- You work hard, you EARN hard. Sometimes you want things you don’t need but you hold back. After all, I WANT a plane ticket to Europe, 5 new Chanel bags, and 3 pairs of Valentino pumps (really badly BTW). What I NEED, however, is tuition paid for, food for survival, and a savings account for the unknown, frightening and horrible future -- better known as: the REAL world (EW!) Keep in mind the fine line between what saving and living is.
8. LAUGH IT OFF
- Laughing is the best medicine, and can cure all wounds -- seriously. Did you just totally stumble and trip in front of your majorly smokin’ crush? Laugh! Did you completely go blank in the middle of your terrifying 3 minute speech in front of 30 classmates? Laugh! You too are human and things happen. By allowing yourself to brush it off, you’re owning it and showing confidence. Don’t worry about such small, insignificant things -- make a joke about it and brush it off.
- Constructive criticism is one thing, but judgment is just plain mean. Have compassion -- you don’t know what someone has been through or how they got to where they are today.
*I do not own any of the pictures used in the making of this blog post. All were found on www.pinterest.com